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Monday, January 14, 2013

A Christmas Memory Revisted


Hello Everyone,
I am so enjoying all the Christmas postings, from decor, to trees, to gifts and,
I NEVER, EVER get in all my postings BEFORE Christmas....so, I am going to be having a few Christmas posts for awhile now.
MAYBE I can get them all in by the first of the year....MAYBE....!!
Well...I didn't make it...sorry

Like everyone, I cherish
   CHRISTMAS MEMORIES.

That's what MY post today is all about...a memory that I will take to the grave with me.
It all started the year I was 7...
7 years old....wow
...it's hard to believe I was ever 7....
I was 7 and I am now about to turn 75 and the
MEMORY is as
vivid as the TIME.
(I did, indeed, turn 75 on New Year's Eve)
***
My mother and dad divorced that year and she and I moved pretty far away from him...

This was to be the first Christmas without being with my daddy.
I never spent another Christmas with him...
but I DID spend time with him every summer until I married.
I had such a kind and understanding mother.....
she always saw to it that I could see my daddy as often as possible.
I'll never forget the gifts he sent me....
in the mail.
I wasn't used to THAT ! ...
I don't think I had EVER received anything thru the MAIL...

I can remember thinking that I wished he was giving me the presents
himself......and feeling sad .....

...but having the wise and very sweet mother that I had,
she made it a fun time for a little girl of 7...

She took me to the big post office downtown and helped me carry 3 boxes...
and they were ALL for me !....and ALL from my daddy.
She kept saying, "OOO, Jeanie, I wonder what IN THE WORLD could be in these three boxes..."
and the excitement built to the VERY TOP LEVEL....:)


When we got home, we took off all the brown mailing paper
and my dad had wrapped each gift in brightly colored paper..without bows.
Mother found 3 pretty bows, put them on the packages and let me place each one
under our  little Christmas tree.


Christmas morning, Santa came and I also had the 3 gifts from Dad..
The year was 1944...candy and gum were hard to get at that time...a time of WW2.
The war didn't end until 1945.

When I opened one present, it was a WHOLE box of JUICY FRUIT chewing gum...
I was stunned...A WHOLE BOX !
I just couldn't believe it...
My daddy must have had some "pull" with somebody...somewhere 
**
The second present....a WHOLE box of HERSHEY BARS...
I can STILL remember the excitement I felt...
You've heard "like a kid in a candy store" ?....well, believe me when I say...
I was that kid !

Here the government was gathering all the sugar they could get together and sending it overseas..and I was sitting here with a WHOLE box of candy....o, my!
I was too little to feel any shame that I had a whole box of CANDY when some of the men and women fighting for our country didn't even have sugar for their coffee.

A Christmas gift has never since  left such an impression on me as this one has.
*
The third gift was a beautiful little Mexican senorita doll...
I still have the doll and would have taken a photo of her but she's in a trunk
in our attic and too hard to get down.
I may be surprised to see that she has turned to dust by now.
**
Because BOTH my parents loved me so much, they each made that first HARD Christmas more of a GOOD memory than a BAD one....AND, little 2nd graders are so resilient.

They both were very wise in their way of handling such a traumatic time in my life...I never,
NOT EVEN ONCE, heard either one of them say anything BAD about the other...
I think this is so important for a little child...
having their home broken apart is bad enough without having to handle hearing bad things about a person that child loves....

Our country seems to be sliding in the wrong direction sometimes...
so many shootings and so many suicides fill the news almost every single day.
I can't help but think that parents need to reassure their children that they are LOVED.
They need to set examples.....
they need to keep open lines of communication....
they need to follow THE GOLDEN RULE more than anything else in this world.
Our children should be treated as WE would want to be treated.

Children are so willing to please, when they are young. If they are lead  in the 
direction of understanding and love, they will become understanding and loving people
when they grow up.....or at least most of them do, I think.
  
My mother was only 27 yrs old at this time and so wise for her age. She gave some thought to ME...
how this would affect THE REST OF MY LIFE....

and for this, I WILL ALWAYS BE THANKFUL.

Thankful to the both of them !
Sooo, my Christmas memory, that is as strong right now as ever,
IS A BLESSED ONE....

I think a valuable lesson is given here, from my Mother and Dad.
They were both kind hearted enough to want what was best for me.
Remembering that how we treat certain situations, may have an influence
on the life of another....it can be GOOD...it can be BAD...it can go either way.
When we love someone, we should do everything in our power to never hurt that person...
for ANY reason  

ALL BECAUSE 2 PEOPLE LOVED ME THAT MUCH....
I will ALWAYS HAVE SUCH GOOD CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.

XOXO bj
 

32 comments:

Stacey said...

This is such a sweet and heartfelt post, BJ. I guess 67 years ago people didn't divorce nearly as often as now. It was probably difficult for your mom in ways that people these days don't experience. I know a couple of families who are divorcing right now. It's ugly and so unfortunate. My parents divorced 20 years ago and it was hard even as an adult. My parents have never been unkind about each other either. In fact, we spend holidays together...which is such a blessing. Your message should be put on billboards for more people to read.

NanaDiana said...

Oh How Wonderful! I have a son that just got divorced and his ex has been so HATEFUL-and poisoned the kids...it is so sad...but she is mentally ill and so I pray for her daily. Your Mom and Dad were both very wise and I am sure they are in a bright spot in Heaven and still smiling down on you- blessings- xo Diana

Vee said...

You sure tell a story in a wonderful way. If some people could read this, they would have a lot to think about. Your parents were very wise to allow you the joy of loving them both without feeling as if your loyalties were split. Yes, wise and loving people.

Debby said...

My grandparents separated early in their marriage. They had three children. I know that it was rare. My grandfther always stil loved her. My grandmother not so much. She wouldn't even look at him at family gatherings. Neither ever saw other people. It was said. Your parents had to be special to make it work for you to have good memories. And al that candy and gum....yum.
I bet you are moving right now.
Good luck.

SmilingSally said...

What a special memory this is! It must have been hard to have divorced parents back then. Yet, your parents taught you that it was not you . . . and they showed you love.

Ceekay-THINKIN of HOME/Doublewide Decor said...

Precious story.....my daddy died when I was 9, so I know what it was like to not have a dad every day....I still have a few little gifts he gave me.

Kathleen Grace said...

What a wonderful memory to share. If only every couple that split up could put aside their differences enough to be sure their children didn't suffer for their mistake. Clearly your parents did something very right.

Mrs R said...

Thank you for sharing your precious holiday memories with us. The pictures are delightful!

Whimsey Creations said...

It is so rare at that young of an age (your parents) to have that wisdom. Oh if only everyone had it. A precious memory for you for sure. Hugs!

Rhondi said...

Such a heartfelt post. You were lucky to have two parents who made the best of a difficult situation. What wonderful memories to have. I wonder what memories kids here days will have? Everything is is rushed. Our society is so materialistic. In many ways I fell sorry for kids these days!

Theresa said...

Sweet post! There are SO many in this World who could learn from your Parent's example:) Have a blessed week dear BJ, HUGS!

Audrey said...

Wonderful post bj ... so happy you have such great childhood memories. My grandson told me one time that 50% of the kids on campus had divorced parents. His parents were divorced when he was seven. Both parents and grandparents went to his school and sports activities and sat together. He was raised by both parents and me. I started keeping him daycare when he was 6 weeks old and sometimes after school and during the summer while he was growing up. He is very special and well adjusted 19 year old collage student. Not all kids are so lucky.
Blessings,
Audrey Z.

Designs By Pinky said...

Oh, BJ, thank you for sharing this beautiful story. My Dad died when I was 4, and all my life ai LONGED for a daddy. Always. I still do actually. Your Mother was a wonderful, wise and generous lady, even if she was only 27!!! XO, Pinky

Gayla said...

Lovely. Simply perfect. I divorced my son's daddy when my son was a sophomore. I made it my goal to speak only good about that man. I'm not sure i always did that, but I can see my heart in your mom and her goals. As a teacher for thirty seven years, I have seen the sad result when parents do the opposite. Your spirit is so ebullient. Both your mom and dad did most things just right, I'd say! Great. Post..

Tazas y Cuentos said...

Very sweet, interesting and emotive post! I enjoyed reading it a lot.
Your parents were very clever and sensitive with you.
Besos! Silvina

Beth said...

A very beautiful post. A loving tribute for your mom and dad!

Mindy said...

First, I love your header pictures. The pink roses are so purdy.

Second, what a special post. I really loved it. I felt your emotions and I think it's pretty amazing that your mom did what she did. So many divorced parents these days need to follow suit and get over themselves.

I lost my dad when I was 13, so the keepsakes I have from him are very, very special to me. How lucky that your memories are just as vivid and real as the actual gifts.

Again, really special post.

Our Neck of the Woods said...

I love how you can still so vividly remember that Christmas! Sounds like your mom made it so special. It's so great how your mom never spoke badly about your father in front of you - I think that's very important!

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

Thank you for sharing this wonderful recollection with us. I could just imagine you as a little girl running your hands through all of the gum and chocolate bars.

glitter princess said...

Thank you for sharing this touching story. Beautifully written as you reflected on great memories provided by your parents. (-:

Auntie sezzzzzz... said...

Thank you for sharing this precious post, Dear One. Yes, you were very lucky, that your parents treated a hard time, with such Wisdom. :-)

Oh and it's PINK HERE! LOve it!

What is it with us, hu? We are in a gotta'-change-our-blog-look-mode! Last night, I wanted to change my Background again, even though I had JUST changed it. -grin-

Teresa said...

Love does that to a person... makes you feel, eternally, 7.
And You are. 7 and Loved!
And you give such good Love (if when your Parents reached Heaven someone hesitated what "room" to give them, all it's needed is a look at this amazing post and give them the best view so they can rejoice in the Great Work both achieved.

And You are Right: love matters, love is needed, all it takes is Love. Everywhere from Anyone who's able to deliver - a kind word, a Hershey Bar, a smilling seƱorita doll, a lovely smile, a sweet memory.

Love,
Teresa

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

I so relate. We have a couple of ex's in our family and we all get along and share all the joys of the children. I think it is the only way. Thanks for joining TTT. Hugs, marty

Stephanie said...

What a precious story of you as a little girl, BJ :)
Also, happy belated birthday. Can I just say I was shocked when you said you turned 75 on New Years Eve....you look like you're 48! :)
Enjoy your week!

Hugs,
Stephanie

Madeline's Album said...

Thanks for sharing this childhood Christmas memory with us. It was a precious one. Have a blessed day. Madeline

Rian said...

Hi bj, I too loved your story. Such wonderful memories... despite the divorce. My oldest is in the middle of a divorce and we do all we can to make the kids feel loved and never say anything bad about the other party. Its hard to imagine that an adult wouldn't realize how bad words about a loved ones can hurt - especially a child.

Sue said...

I don't know if I can find the right words to tell you how much this memory of yours has blessed me! You are so blessed to of had such understanding, loving parents. I know why I think you are so sweet, it just comes forth in your posts. The advice you have given is so timely, and much needed.Thank you for sharing, and I am looking forward to more shared memories.
Blessings,
Sue

Bead and Needle said...

What a wonderful post - Happy Tuesday, BJ...thanks for the smile you've put on my face, this morning! XOXO

On Crooked Creek said...

BJ,
What a wonderful memory!
Thank you for sharing this precious post with us, dear friend! Christmas isn't for only one day, but all year through!!! God bless you for reminding us it is by our example that Christ is made known in this world!
Fondly,
Pat
P.S. Love the new header and backdrop to your blog!!!

Rose Hascall said...

Wonderful parents to think of their child like that. Wonderful memories for you.

Rose Hascall said...

Wonderful parents to think of their child like that. Wonderful memories for you.

Sue (Someones Mom) said...

I am so glad that I decided to scroll back through your posts to "catch up" with you. This brought tears...your parents must have been wonderful people. I also wish the world was a kinder place.

I can only imagine what it must have been like to get the candy and gum!