FYI

My NEW blog address is
bj-sweetnothings.blogspot.com

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thanks, bj

Friday, November 9, 2012

The Old Woman


 Why I love old women....
SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN EACH HAND.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, SAYING, “HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?”

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR - NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF - STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING.

WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUNS AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.


THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR. THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.

THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN GUN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, 

"SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S BUTT?"
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MAM... BUT... I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO."

THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:

1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being
stupid…

30 comments:

middle child said...

Hey! I am smarter than whiskey er,...I mean...oh shit, just let me get another drink so I can explain this better.....

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

I'm guessing his wish came true! Have a great day:@)

Rita said...

Great post; but mostly i LOVE the last line!So good to be back here.
Rita

sissie said...

HA!! Love this PJ.

hugs
Sissie

Carlene @ Organized Clutter said...

Ha! Starting my day with a smile, BJ.

Donnie said...

Since Don watches the Western Channel...ALL... the time I can relate...lol...Oh well, I could have related anyway. Have a great day.

Sandi McBride said...

I LOVE this...thank you so much...I'm still laughing
Sandi

Theresa said...

Love it! Thanks for the morning giggle:) Have a SWEET day dear BJ, HUGS!

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/From Harvest To Table said...

LOL! Thanks for the chuckle this morning BJ.

Stacey said...

I love it! Have to read this one to my husband. He loves this humor. :)

White Weathered Hutch, said...

Great! Laugh Out Loud!!!

The French Hutch said...

You put a big wide grin on my face this morning bj. Thanks because you made hubby happy too, he thought it was for him! (Don't feel bad), he always gets a smile too.

Happy, happy weekend,
Emily
The French Hutch

Gayla said...

Love this.

Sweet Posy Dreams said...

I must be getting smarter all the time!

Ann said...

Well she definately had the POWER. Love this cute story. I just turned 65 so I think I've earned some power.
Ann

LV said...

AMEN!

NanaDiana said...

Bj! I loved it and just told it to my son-He asked me...."So...what are you saying?" I think the only part he "GOT" was that I am an old woman- xo Diana

Madeline's Album said...

Great story, enjoy it very much. Have a blessed day. Madeline

Celestina Marie said...

Hey Bj,
Thanks for the morning funny. LOL!!
Have a great day.
Hugs, Celestina Marie

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Truer words were NEVER spoken!!! LOL

Jo May said...

I have got to share this..I love it!!

Patty Patterson said...

LOL! Too funny!

Our Neck of the Woods said...

Haha! Too funny! Rule #5 is my favorite :)

Decora Adora said...

great post Haaaa Love this . Have a nice day I love your blog
regards from Chile

On Crooked Creek said...

BJ,
Scared the "you know what out of me"!!!
Then, I laughed!!!
I'm an "Old Woman"!!!
Fondly,
Pat

Jeanne, backyard neighbor said...

HA, HA, HA. a great moral lesson. don't mess with an old lady, especially in TEXAS. Laughing here.
Love, Jeanne

HAPPY 52ND ANNIVERSARY from my heart to your hearts.

Kathleen Grace said...

Lol, what a great story!

jerry sweet said...

a whole bunch of logic and common sense here.not many people remember the (common) part of it.well done

Beverly said...

Oh my gosh, BJ. This just made me burst out laughing.

Carla said...

Great Story! LOL